Life is nothing if not complex, eh?
My career has really been the one semi-constant in my life for as long as I care to remember. I got started working at a very young age, and when I found my career I quickly decided to forgo most of the other aspects of my life to pursue it. Almost our years ago I was blessed with the only thing that has ever been able to successfully compete with my career, my beautiful son Dean.
Here is sit almost 9 years later with very little to show for what has been my primary pursuit for most of the last decade. I have a good job, and many people my age would be thrilled with that. I get paid a fair wage for my work, I like what I do (and most of my friends can’t say the same) and I have real potential to continue to grow professionally in my position.
What is missing? More than a year ago the only serious relationship I ever had ended and I haven’t even remotely made an attempt at a relationship since. A few sporadic dates, but nothing serious. My family is pretty much sure that I must be on drugs or mentally unstable at this point (because I choose to spend every free moment I can when my son isn’t around elsewhere and because my sleep schedule doesn’t fall into their category of normal – I work noon to 9pm Monday to Friday and regularly don’t get home before 10 or 11pm).
The truth is that for the most part I consider myself to be a happy person. I love my son more than words can ever explain and he fills my heart in a way that I never thought possible before he came into my life. I enjoy my job most days, even though recent events have shown me that I seem to have a growing choir of co-workers that would really love to see me fail (don’t worry, I have no intention of indulging them).
In both my personal and private life I’ve discovered people who either pity me or who would love to watch me fail are closer than I thought. I’ve tried to remain optimistic and give people the benefit of the doubt – but hey, if people want to look down upon me that suits me just fine – they will be all the more surprised when they are proven wrong.
Comments
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For whatever it’s worth, I think that anyone who would question your choices in life must not be particularly happy with themselves. I can’t imagine how anyone reading what you wrote about your son would conclude that you’re doing something wrong, and should be doing X or not doing Y instead.
Everyone’s capable of being small and petty, at least occasionally, and in my experience that generally has to do with some nagging personal unhappiness. At least it does for me - anytime I start to rant or complain about something, my wife asks me if there’s anything in my life I’m not satisfied with. I generally reflect for a moment or two, smile in the recognition that she’s right - that my life is pretty fantastic - and STFU.
So you know what fulfills you, you have it, and that’s all that need be said. Anyone trying to second-guess your decisions, whether family or coworkers or whoever, must not be able to say the same.